My Name is Sullivan

Why is it I always get an impacted colon on a TUESDAY????

$15.95 is too damn much to pay for lamb vindaloo! Even if it does come with unlimited aloo paratha**!

**It turns out the aloo paratha was extra!!!

Did Bob Dylan ever get tangled up in any colors besides blue? What about maroon?

McGwire's gonna be crying harder than Matteo did the time he found out that Gerber didn't make a Scungilli flavor.

So McGwire won't be in the Hall of Fame? Maybe he should do what Giambi did--hold a press conference, and apologize for something he couldn't talk about!!! How about an apology for not being able to tell us why he was apologizing!? Yeah, right, "Yoga!"

In other news, this has been a great dumping season. "Freedom Writers?" I liked it better when it was "Dangerous Minds," which I liked better back when it was "My Posse Don't Do Homework."

About the Red Sox - I haven't seen a worse meltdown since Ronald Lacey in "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

Related trivia: My in 1983, my brother got a callback for the role of "Short Round."

Who'd have thought I'd have to go to seven stores just to find a damned SHOEHORN???!!!??

DePalma has made a movie about the Black Dahlia murder, starring Josh Hartnett. The only bigger mystery than the Black Dahlia murder is why Josh Hartnett is a star?!?!

One of my kids looks like Gert Frobe. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this.

For anyone out there with an agitated cornhole, Tuck's makes one hell of a product.

Miller Huggins had a lifetime .455 winning percentage as a manager until leaving the Cardinals for the Yankees in 1918. Mention that when you're out on a job interview nowadays, though, and they'll look at you like you're insane. Trust me on this one.

I'm thinking of starting a baseball blog. Any thoughts?

I wsh Damon would grow his beard back. It would cover up all the andro damage on his jaw.

1930s Yankee right fielder Jake Powell was the Mel Gibson of his day. Who thought we needed one Mel Gibson?

ennngh

People actually think I know what "lock picture" means!

People actually think I know what "lock picture" means!

Well excuse ME for not posting in awhile! I happen to have a beautiful girlfriend to think about, ya know! Zamboni is currently hundreds of miles away emersed in advanced hot stone scream massage, with a minor in ferret reflexology and practising the ancient Sufi art of taking money from rich people who think they are stressed. Actually, this is almost funny. Better send it to Zambuttress and then everyone else I know.

Well excuse ME for not posting in awhile! I happen to have a beautiful girlfriend to think about, ya know! Zamboni is currently hundreds of miles away emersed in advanced hot stone scream massage, with a minor in ferret reflexology and practising the ancient Sufi art of taking money from rich people who think they are stressed. Actually, this is almost funny. Better send it to Zambuttress and then everyone else I know.

I'm trying to be more of a mentsch, whatever the hell that is.

Fer cryin' out loud, does anyone know how to get burrs out of a toupee?

I'm so tired of the World Cup. Someone explain to me why billions of people enjoy watching something that can end in a TIE??? If I wanted to see a tie, I'd go into marketing! Give me baseball, where everyone visibly wears a cup!**
**note, I take it back. The All-Star game ended in a tie.

I only like movies that are about nice things and nice people. What's wrong with that? "The English Patient" was garbage. "Six Pack" with Kenny Rogers is more my cup of tea.

Oh, and as for Ralph Fiennes. If it's pronounced "Rafe," spell it "Rafe."

NOBODY say anything about the fact that the Sox are 24-8 and 4 games in first. Just shut up about it, okay? Here's some other things I'm doing to help:

- while we're in first, I don't shave, get a haircut, or change my underwear.

- if someone mentions it to me, I just say, "They don't stand a chance. I hear they're gonna bring back Buckner for the playoffs."

- Every time they win, I turn another of my Franklin Mint Presidential Figurines northeast towards Boston. For their 44th win, I'll start moving 'em up one shelf with each win. For number 87 and beyond, I'll tape miniature flags on toothpicks to their hands. To celebrate their 100th win (Franklin Pierce, who grew up in Red Sox country and had Jefferson Davis as his Secretary of War), I'll shave my back.